As a child of
a divorce, Sarang never truly felt loved. In spite of both his parents'
efforts, little insecurities did always creep in. There were times when he had
severe panic attacks. He even saw a shrink. Of course, that didn't really help
much, but it was the best his parents could do. For the human mind is a very
complex structure. Sometimes it can face mountain-loads of adversaries, whereas
on the others, it takes the smallest of things to trigger it's downfall. Truly,
the wounds of the mind are the hardest to heal.
Thus he grew
up having quite a quiet childhood, with monthly appointments with the
psychiatrist. All the while, on a quest to find 'love'.
His mother,
Lata, was a sweet lady who worked as a nurse in a well-off private hospital.
She was the one with Sarang's custody. She always told him that 'love' is when
you care more about the other, than you did about yourself. This was almost
always immediately followed by a "but your father cares about nothing but
his own life". Thus, to Sarang, 'love' became a very difficult thing to
have, as his father couldn't possess it, and if he couldn't, then who can?
After all, "my daddy strongest", right?
Lata's
ex-husband, Sarang's father, Mr. Gopen Patel was a hot commodity in Gujarat.
His life could've been right out of a Bollywood movie, with the typical from
"rags to riches" stuff. But not to let that undermine his hard work
and achievements, as it is nowhere as easy in real life as it appears on the
reel front.Unlike most around him, he didn’t have a Saree or jewelry business,
his was an empire of transformers. He was a no nonsense man who didn’t really
have the time for Sarang’s questions on love. “Love is a tool fools use to kid
themselves”, is the best he could ever get out of him.
Sarang was
used to watching his parents bicker over the slightests of things from a very
young age. Sometimes he pretended that it wasn’t happening by indulging himself
in television or the movies, the rest he tried to calm down his parents. But
after each quarrel, each bigger and over a sillier reason than the previous,
the three would always sit together peacefully watching the movies at home,
eating popcorn from one huge bowl, tucked in under one big sheet. This was
truly a cherished memory for him. He believed that had he been in JK Rowling’s
wizarding world and been asked to conjure a patronus, this memory of his
would’ve produced the strongest patronus in the world. It was that strong,
happy and special a memory to him. But then, one fine day his parents dropped
the missile on him- the news that they had decided to get separated. Poor
little Sarang was just 12. He tried all he could, but who could change the mind
of two determined adults? Children are much wiser in this aspect as adults, to
their own folly, often make the worsts of decisions out of a misplaced case of
ego. But then again, sometimes it’s better to just let go.
His schooling
life was quiet and quite uneventful. He hardly opened up to anyone. He had
massive trust issues. He saw all his friends’ parents, both of them coming to
their Parent’s Days or to the Parent Teacher Conferences. This always made him
sad. He saw all the kids around him being happy, jovial, indulging in
relationships, etc. He for one could never get into one, as he was too paranoid
that eventually everyone he liked would leave him. He saw many such cases of
breakups of his batch mates as well, which further turned him against the
prospect.
All this
continued until once, at the age of 19, he was returning home from college, and
he met with a serious car accident. His chauffeur collided his car against a
truck. He was gravely injured and taken to the hospital immediately. Luckily he
survived, although he wasn’t too thankful of that. But something happened which
changed everything for him.
He was in the
hospital for 7 days, and during this time, both his parents were at the
hospital throughout. They spent whole days together in the hospital, by his
side, not fighting even once. They were completely into their son’s welfare,
they forgot all about their mutual differences. They left their work, their
ego, their past and everything behind! They talked to him, fed him, made him
laugh, saw to his injuries, made sure he took the right meds at the right time.
All in all, they were a perfect little happy family. In that moment, he did
truly feel ‘infinite’.
For once, he
felt loved. He felt special. He forgot all the bitterness that he had developed
inside of him. He forgot all the sad memories, and was just brought back to
those happy memories with the popcorn, the sheet and the movies. What was an
enigma to him suddenly became an answer to everything. It was kind of an
epiphany where his quest finally seemed fulfilled.
He realized
that maybe both his parents were right in their definitions of love. Yes, he
truly saw his parents’ love. They overlooked their own personal issues for the
sake of their son. It is indeed about caring more about someone else than
oneself. Also, love is an abstract thing, doesn’t truly exist to the outside
world. It is merely something fools use to make themselves feel better. But in
that regard, all of us are fools! We all yearn for love, and we accept the love
we think we deserve. Sarang thought throughout that he didn’t deserve any. Thus
unknowingly, he blocked himself from all the love he could’ve possibly
received. True love doesn’t need any form. It is just out there for you to grasp.
Sometimes stuff doesn’t work out the way you want it to, but that doesn’t
undermine the love that was there, the love that is there and this love which
will always remain.
Just like
every other son, daughter, mother, father, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend,
spouse or whatever. We are all entitled to love and to be loved. We all spend
our lives in search of the much hyped- ‘true love’. Only we fail to see it. But
eventually, even if it be for a very short while, we do have our “eureka
moments”, where we finally find it. Only we must remember to grasp on to it
with both hands, and cling to it forever. Just like little Sarang Patel. J
Samarth Ladia
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